226: The 5 Resets by Dr. Aditi Nerurkar

Click any line to jump to that moment.

1. 00:00:00 All right, Mike, we're back.
2. 00:00:02 - We are.
3. 00:00:03 You've got floors and we're ready to record a podcast.
4. 00:00:06 - Yes, well, I have floors.
5. 00:00:09 They're not the best right now, but they're floors.
6. 00:00:12 They're working on it.
7. 00:00:13 So before we started recording,
8. 00:00:15 I told Mike we're redoing the floors downstairs
9. 00:00:17 and it's just a lot of work, it's a lot of work.
10. 00:00:20 So, which Mike is having a little bit of like,
11. 00:00:23 I probably am inducing stress in him,
12. 00:00:25 which is a precursor to our book today
13. 00:00:27 because, you know, he doesn't want anybody else
14. 00:00:30 to take on home renovation projects.
15. 00:00:31 (laughs)
16. 00:00:32 - At least not doing podcast recording
17. 00:00:34 if you can help it. - Yeah, exactly, yeah.
18. 00:00:37 So, today we're gonna talk about the five resets.
19. 00:00:41 It's a book about stress and overcoming that,
20. 00:00:43 but before we do that, let's get in to follow up.
21. 00:00:47 I will start with my action items
22. 00:00:49 and see how I did on those.
23. 00:00:51 So, Mike, green check mark all around
24. 00:00:54 on the first action item.
25. 00:00:56 I read the five resets and I'm,
26. 00:01:00 - Wow.
27. 00:01:01 - And I'm feeling great about it.
28. 00:01:03 So, I teed that one up for myself that way.
29. 00:01:06 I could easily hit that one.
30. 00:01:10 The other one I had was to identify
31. 00:01:11 where I already need to apply, let them.
32. 00:01:15 And the crazy thing about this is the number of places
33. 00:01:20 this occurs and will occur is just unbelievable.
34. 00:01:26 I mean, there's been so many situations
35. 00:01:28 in the last two weeks where I've just gone,
36. 00:01:29 you know what, just let them.
37. 00:01:31 Let them and then I will respond in the way,
38. 00:01:34 which is the let me side of that.
39. 00:01:36 And I'm like, man, it's just so applicable
40. 00:01:39 in so many different ways.
41. 00:01:40 And keeping, I think the biggest thing I've learned
42. 00:01:43 from doing it is keeping in mind
43. 00:01:45 that it's not a stop caring about the world
44. 00:01:49 or stop having compassion for others
45. 00:01:51 or it's not like an I don't care situation.
46. 00:01:54 It's a more controlled, I can't do this.
47. 00:01:59 Like I can't like let your opinion
48. 00:02:00 over way into the situation.
49. 00:02:02 So I just gotta let you let you have that opinion
50. 00:02:05 and I can react to it and respond to it that way.
51. 00:02:07 So, I'm gonna give a double green check mark,
52. 00:02:10 which might be the best I've ever done with action items.
53. 00:02:13 The best, I mean, now don't, I know one of them
54. 00:02:16 was a gimme, but at the same time,
55. 00:02:19 I get a double green check mark on this one.
56. 00:02:21 So I'm pretty proud of myself.
57. 00:02:22 So how about you, what are your action items?
58. 00:02:24 - Thanks.
59. 00:02:25 - My action items, first one,
60. 00:02:27 start using the five second rule.
61. 00:02:29 The idea behind this is from the let them theory,
62. 00:02:33 but not really from the let them theory,
63. 00:02:35 from the introduction where she talks about her other book,
64. 00:02:38 which was you count down and then blast off
65. 00:02:40 like five, four, three, two, one, then go do the thing
66. 00:02:43 as a way of overcoming procrastination.
67. 00:02:45 I am annoyed at how effective this is.
68. 00:02:47 (laughing)
69. 00:02:49 Yeah, there have been lots of things where I'm just like,
70. 00:02:51 I don't wanna do this in the last couple of weeks
71. 00:02:54 and this definitely works.
72. 00:02:56 So reluctantly give myself a green check mark for that one.
73. 00:03:00 - Good job, Mike, good job.
74. 00:03:03 - The other ones, add let them to the personal core values,
75. 00:03:05 question marks, I really just think about this.
76. 00:03:08 I don't think I'm going to add this to the core values,
77. 00:03:10 although like you definitely had some success
78. 00:03:13 with just keeping that mindset.
79. 00:03:16 And then the other one was to be the one to go first.
80. 00:03:19 And I don't know that I've had a ton of opportunity
81. 00:03:22 to do this, but I think I've had a fair amount
82. 00:03:25 of success with that as well.
83. 00:03:27 So add let them to the personal core values.
84. 00:03:30 I did actually think about adding that.
85. 00:03:32 I have not decided to add that yet.
86. 00:03:35 And I kind of think, I've closed the door on that.
87. 00:03:39 Like that's not something I wanna do,
88. 00:03:42 but also to be honest, I'm not sure that I really,
89. 00:03:46 I really have reached a firm conclusion about that.
90. 00:03:49 So I'm ready to like check that one as done,
91. 00:03:52 but sort of I'm worried that it's gonna come back again
92. 00:03:55 at some point, if that makes any sense.
93. 00:03:57 I don't know, I feel like I did that one, but not great.
94. 00:04:03 And then to be the one to go first,
95. 00:04:04 that's sort of like a yellow.
96. 00:04:08 I think I had a couple of occasions
97. 00:04:09 where that was top of mind and I stepped out there,
98. 00:04:12 but it really wasn't the application that I had in mind
99. 00:04:15 when I listed that action item.
100. 00:04:19 So I feel like I've got more progress to be made there too.
101. 00:04:23 - I think we did well.
102. 00:04:24 I think we did well on our follow-up items or action items.
103. 00:04:26 - I think we did well, but I don't think I did well
104. 00:04:30 picking good action items if that makes sense.
105. 00:04:32 - That doesn't make sense.
106. 00:04:34 Yeah, that does make sense.
107. 00:04:35 Okay, so I'm gonna give us a pat on the back.
108. 00:04:37 Good job, good job.
109. 00:04:37 We did do great on this.
110. 00:04:39 - All right, way to go us.
111. 00:04:40 - Way to go us, all right.
112. 00:04:41 Let's move into the actual book.
113. 00:04:44 Let's talk about today's book.
114. 00:04:45 It's called The Five Resets.
115. 00:04:47 And if you're searching for it on Google,
116. 00:04:50 it's the number five, although it doesn't matter
117. 00:04:53 'cause you can find it either way.
118. 00:04:54 But just so you know, if you're looking for the title,
119. 00:04:55 it's the number five, and to rewire your brain and body
120. 00:04:59 for less stress and more resilience,
121. 00:05:02 it's by Editi Nerkarar.
122. 00:05:05 Nah, tag on it.
123. 00:05:06 I knew I was gonna mess it up.
124. 00:05:07 Nerkarar.
125. 00:05:08 - You said you're gonna figure out how to say this.
126. 00:05:09 That was my one stipulation.
127. 00:05:11 If we're gonna cover this book,
128. 00:05:12 you gotta know how to say her name.
129. 00:05:14 - I practiced it 10 times.
130. 00:05:16 And then I couldn't do it.
131. 00:05:18 - That's okay, that's okay.
132. 00:05:19 So side tangent here, just for a second.
133. 00:05:22 I had a friend in college.
134. 00:05:24 His name was Dustin Katona.
135. 00:05:27 And he was a religious studies major.
136. 00:05:29 And he knew everybody in the religious studies department
137. 00:05:32 very well.
138. 00:05:33 And he was adamant when I graduate,
139. 00:05:35 you need to make sure that you pronounce my name correctly.
140. 00:05:39 Dustin Katona, right?
141. 00:05:41 And so the guy who is like over his,
142. 00:05:45 what do you call it?
143. 00:05:45 You know, like the religious studies major.
144. 00:05:47 - Yeah, the degree program, yeah.
145. 00:05:49 - Well, the guy is reading all the names, right?
146. 00:05:52 And so he knows Dustin really well.
147. 00:05:54 He's like, yeah, yeah, I got it.
148. 00:05:55 I got it.
149. 00:05:56 You know, leading up to it.
150. 00:05:57 And then the day of, you know, I don't know,
151. 00:05:59 he's number 200 in the list, whatever.
152. 00:06:01 My friend's about to step up on the stage
153. 00:06:03 and got to read his name, Justin Katona.
154. 00:06:08 My friend like stops with his foot on the stage,
155. 00:06:10 just like trying to decide,
156. 00:06:12 do I actually walk across the stage
157. 00:06:14 and get my diploma, you know?
158. 00:06:16 - Yeah, it's horrible.
159. 00:06:18 - So names are hard.
160. 00:06:19 - Names are hard, you know?
161. 00:06:21 I get it, you know, high pressure situation.
162. 00:06:25 How you can totally mess something up like that.
163. 00:06:28 - I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know.
164. 00:06:30 Nerd her car, nerd her car, nerd her car, nerd her car, nerd her car, nerd her car, nerd her car, nerd her car, nerd her car, nerd her car, nerd her car, nerd her car, nerd her car, nerd her car, nerd her car, nerd her car, nerd her car, nerd her car, nerd her car, nerd her car, nerd her car, nerd her car, nerd her car, nerd her car, nerd her car, nerd her car, nerd her car, nerd her car, nerd her car, nerd her car, nerd her car, nerd her car, nerd her car, nerd her car, nerd her car, nerd her car, nerd her car, nerd her car, nerd her car, nerd her car, nerd her car, nerd her car, nerd her car, nerd her car, nerd her car, nerd her car, nerd her car, nerd her car, nerd her car, nerd her car, nerd her car, nerd her car, nerd her car, nerd her car, nerd her car
165. 00:07:00 chapter is a reset and then there's some wrapper chapters around them. So there's
166. 00:07:06 eight total chapters in the book. So there's an introduction and then eight
167. 00:07:12 chapters and the last chapter being essentially the conclusion but it's kind
168. 00:07:16 of like a push you forward kind of a thing. So Mike and I didn't talk about
169. 00:07:19 this before the show but Mike I was thinking we would just cover them all
170. 00:07:21 since there's only nine total items here. Sounds good. Alrighty. So if you're good
171. 00:07:30 with it let's go ahead and move into the introduction. Yep. Alright so in the
172. 00:07:35 introduction basically we're introduced to like these five universal truths of
173. 00:07:42 stress. So the entire book is really about stress, resilience and then kind of
174. 00:07:50 how your brain and your body react to that and then it's gonna give these five
175. 00:07:56 major ways to reset and then 15 techniques within that. I didn't pay
176. 00:08:01 close enough attention to see if they were divided up like three per each of
177. 00:08:06 those to get the total of 15. I don't think they were. I think they were just
178. 00:08:09 15 scattered throughout and some of them had four and some of them had two but
179. 00:08:14 the five universal truths of stress are feel anxious when when faced with
180. 00:08:20 uncertainty I'm gonna I'm gonna shorten these down a little bit. I don't feel
181. 00:08:24 rested in mind or body. I have so much stress that I accomplished very little.
182. 00:08:28 I have many roles to fill between work family and community. I don't find any
183. 00:08:35 purpose or meaning to my life and face many personal and professional struggles.
184. 00:08:39 So they're these ideas of these universal truths of stress and then the
185. 00:08:45 there are five different ways to to kind of reset that. Get clear on what matters
186. 00:08:49 most find quiet and noisy world sink your brain and your body come up for air
187. 00:08:55 and then bring your best self forward. So essentially this first part and she
188. 00:09:01 uses stories of people that really she's had in her practice right. So she is a
189. 00:09:06 an MD and then kind of got into this idea of stress and working with people
190. 00:09:12 through kind of mental and physical stress and it seems like she's just
191. 00:09:16 kind of taken off her careers taken off and so much that she wanted to write a
192. 00:09:19 book about dealing with this. So that's kind of a high level on the on the
193. 00:09:24 introduction. Yeah there wasn't a whole lot that I jotted down from the
194. 00:09:28 introduction. The stories that she shares you write their very effective
195. 00:09:34 stories about people that she actually worked with. The stories that she tells
196. 00:09:38 are interesting the way that she does it. I can't quite put my finger on what is
197. 00:09:44 different about these stories but I like them a lot. I don't know if it's like
198. 00:09:51 I'm sure she with writing these stories about real people she's only using their
199. 00:09:58 first names and there's probably a little bit of ghost writing that's going on
200. 00:10:06 here cleaning up how they would actually say things but I think the best way I
201. 00:10:11 can describe it is that with other books that we've read that do that they tend
202. 00:10:16 to be over-processed and they end up sounding like the author. These all had
203. 00:10:22 very distinct personalities that came through in the stories that she told
204. 00:10:29 and somehow they all fit with the overall tone of the book. I got done and
205. 00:10:35 I was kind of like that's sort of amazing what just happened there. Well it's
206. 00:10:41 crazy because I think the thing that made them so relatable to me is they you
207. 00:10:45 could easily put yourself in that position and be like oh I could be that
208. 00:10:48 person I could be that person I could be that person they were so real the
209. 00:10:52 stories were so real and to your point I think the reason why it was so easy to
210. 00:10:59 make those stories real I don't know if it's easy for her to do it but like the
211. 00:11:02 reason why it was able to be done is because didn't she say doesn't she say
212. 00:11:06 in there like she's seen like thousands of patients dealing with the stuff so
213. 00:11:10 it's like the number of examples she probably had to go off of the the memory
214. 00:11:15 of them is probably the hard part is like remembering you know but I mean I'm
215. 00:11:19 sure she just had those ones that triggered in her brain when she was
216. 00:11:22 writing the book. Yeah and in addition to the the stories the the main narrative
217. 00:11:28 that she's introducing in the introduction is that stress is a normal part of the
218. 00:11:33 human experience life without stress is biologically impossible so we don't
219. 00:11:37 want but we don't want to shoot for something that's completely unattainable
220. 00:11:40 and the big takeaway is to work with your body not against it that's where the
221. 00:11:45 resets are going to come in. There is also a statistic that she shows at the
222. 00:11:49 beginning here though which I got to be honest Corey I am worried about this.
223. 00:11:55 She says that it takes roughly three months to overcome stress and burnout
224. 00:12:01 and I feel like I am dangerously close to this. Okay we may we may as well get
225. 00:12:10 more personal than we normally get the reason why I wanted to read this book
226. 00:12:15 like is because I am in the same boat that you're in like I'm like teetering
227. 00:12:20 on the edge of like wait a minute I mean there's another stat in there and
228. 00:12:23 this is the thought this is the one I thought you're going to go to is more
229. 00:12:26 than 75% of adults have experienced burnout right like I mean it's it's a
230. 00:12:29 really common thing and then it takes a while for for this to to be overcome and
231. 00:12:36 that's if you're doing the right strategies so yeah Mike like I'm in the
232. 00:12:39 same boat like I just I can tell you right now I often feel very very stressed
233. 00:12:45 out and I've had the word burnout come into my brain more in the last six months
234. 00:12:51 than I think I've ever had in my entire life not that anybody's putting it there
235. 00:12:54 but I'm thinking Mike am I burnt out like am I I'm feeling really burnt out
236. 00:12:58 right now am I burned out yeah and the scary part for me as an independent
237. 00:13:04 creator is that if I'm burnt out nobody does anything in the business I need to
238. 00:13:11 continue to show up in fact I need to do more than I have been doing and if I'm
239. 00:13:16 not able to do it that's a scary thought so the solution is at the beginning here
240. 00:13:25 you know it takes roughly three months to overcome so sort of the the solution in
241. 00:13:30 my brain and this is where the the book actually I think it has a lot of
242. 00:13:34 potential to help me sort through this is not well you just need a three month
243. 00:13:39 break from work that's not a possibility yeah and you probably feel the same way
244. 00:13:45 like what am I gonna do I'm not gonna just not show up and teach for three
245. 00:13:49 months I guess you know maybe you could pull that off in the summer but what
246. 00:13:53 we're doing floors so no you can't but it's a whole it's a whole nother like so
247. 00:13:56 I mean it cycles right like a whole bunch of other stuff picks up in the
248. 00:14:01 summer so it's not like I just sit and eat bonbons all day you know like oh I
249. 00:14:05 feed up at the pool like a whole bunch of other stuff gets done in the summer and
250. 00:14:08 then like sometimes I feel more tired going into the fall then I do you know
251. 00:14:14 what I mean like because it's like the summer was just so crazy so but you're
252. 00:14:17 yeah you're in a unique situation cuz if you don't show up nobody does now I
253. 00:14:21 can't remember I'm failing on where exactly she said it said it but this
254. 00:14:25 myth of resilience where most of us are taught to just buckle up you know or
255. 00:14:31 buckle down and just get get to it and she said no no no that's that's a bad
256. 00:14:34 approach too so yeah toxic resilience is the word that she used I never heard
257. 00:14:39 that before but it makes total sense it does it does so so you can't just stop
258. 00:14:44 working for three months but you also just can't keep telling yourself just
259. 00:14:49 buckle up you know they're like why does he say buckle up buckle down right like
260. 00:14:53 just keep keep doing the work because it's bad either way so let's move into
261. 00:14:57 chapter one if you're good for it so so hold on with the toxic resilience I
262. 00:15:00 just want to double click on that for a second because I had not heard that term
263. 00:15:04 before but like I said I think it makes a lot of sense and then when I was at
264. 00:15:08 crafting commerce there was someone who spoke on the stage another name that I
265. 00:15:15 just made fun of you for mispronouncing names I'm totally gonna do it now Amanda
266. 00:15:18 goats G-O-E-T-Z she announced at the end of her talk which was really good that
267. 00:15:24 she is writing this this book which is now available for pre-order and I
268. 00:15:28 instantly pre bought it because I feel like this is gonna be a great bookworm
269. 00:15:32 book at some point it's called toxic grit and I feel like that's the same
270. 00:15:37 sort of thing I know nothing about the book she's just announced it so like
271. 00:15:41 she'd probably even still still writing it I don't know I feel like maybe this
272. 00:15:46 is gonna become become a thing but the flag has been planted in my brain doctor
273. 00:15:51 Aditi I'm not gonna pronounce the last name so where I heard it first
274. 00:15:55 no car no car no car no obviously okay now we can move on yeah let's let's
275. 00:16:03 roll in the chapter one chapter one is called what's your stress really
276. 00:16:06 telling you in this chapter so what's interesting about this book is she is a
277. 00:16:12 medical professional so she's very much going to go to the literature in the
278. 00:16:16 medical fields to describe and to provide evidence for a lot of this stuff
279. 00:16:20 she actually mentions in the book at one point that's like well I'm a doctor I
280. 00:16:25 have access to all this stuff that nobody else has access to of course I'm
281. 00:16:29 gonna go like research those databases and like and she uses that in her
282. 00:16:33 research for the book the other thing that I really liked about what she did
283. 00:16:37 in the book is she she immediately like lowers the distance between the reader
284. 00:16:44 and the author because she describes a scenario and I don't remember exactly
285. 00:16:47 where she describes it but she was going through med school and basically like
286. 00:16:51 she burns out like she's like I'm toast I'm getting these what you call them
287. 00:16:55 wild horses right she's like these heart palpitations that feel like wild
288. 00:16:57 horses when she laid down to go to sleep at night so like right there you
289. 00:17:01 immediately go like oh she's really one of me like like she's like yeah like
290. 00:17:06 you know we're there is no like I'm the doctor and I'm telling you all the
291. 00:17:09 right things no she's like I was here so I had to think about this for me and I
292. 00:17:14 wanted to share this with you and all and that that description just real
293. 00:17:18 quickly of the wild horses that's such a great description it is I don't know if
294. 00:17:24 you've experienced the situation that she just that she described there but I
295. 00:17:29 just experienced that really and like I had no idea when when I read that in the
296. 00:17:35 book I was I was like I don't know if that really makes sense and then I went
297. 00:17:41 through it and I wasn't thinking about it as I was going through it but after
298. 00:17:45 that you know that the next day I was thinking about it like I just read about
299. 00:17:49 that oh that is actually exactly what it feels like you know okay so so she's
300. 00:17:56 talking about you know what's your what's your stress telling you she says
301. 00:17:59 stress shows up differently for different people some people might get
302. 00:18:02 headaches and mood fluctuations you can't sleep heart palpitations stomach
303. 00:18:06 issues then she makes a statement that I thought was like crazy nearly every
304. 00:18:11 medical condition including anxiety depression insomnia chronic pain
305. 00:18:15 gastrointestinal issues arthritis migraines asthma yada yada yada can be
306. 00:18:19 worsened by stress and I was like oh I knew this inherently I knew this but
307. 00:18:23 it's like everything gets worse if your stress level is high and it's like man
308. 00:18:29 like what an important issue you know like there is nothing that is helped by
309. 00:18:34 stress except if you need to like run away from the wild animal then like
310. 00:18:39 the stress actually helps you out now she's very clear to say like there are
311. 00:18:43 there are ways there's like healthy stress right like so if I'm gonna give a
312. 00:18:48 talk in front of a thousand people the butterflies in your stomach are a
313. 00:18:53 healthy version of stress to help you like focus in do a good job prepping and
314. 00:18:58 do a good job for that talk and that's good so what she's really addressing is
315. 00:19:01 this like chronic level of underlying stress that like never goes away so I
316. 00:19:08 like the way she separates those two and like you know she doesn't say all
317. 00:19:12 stress a hundred percent of it's bad she goes but most of what we're dealing
318. 00:19:16 with right now isn't that underlying helpful stress it's a you know it's a
319. 00:19:21 more intense one I don't know do you want to add something there should I go
320. 00:19:26 a score there's a couple statistics that she shares here which I think are
321. 00:19:31 really important so 60 to 80% she said of doctors visits have a stress related
322. 00:19:39 component but only 3% of doctors prescribe stress management and there's
323. 00:19:46 reasons for that I think part of it is there's not a direct connection there
324. 00:19:53 that can be made easily but then the other thing is that studies show that for
325. 00:19:58 doctors to do their jobs properly they need to work 27 hours per day yep so
326. 00:20:05 makes total sense you know they're just trying to triage basically so it yeah
327. 00:20:11 it it makes sense why this would be not talked about so much I think too Mike
328. 00:20:17 like so you go in and you're having this issue and the doctor goes you know
329. 00:20:21 what I think you're really stressed out and I think if you could handle your
330. 00:20:25 stress level a lot of this stuff would go away and for me personally I'd be
331. 00:20:29 like that is an unsatisfying answer like I want you to tell me am I paying you
332. 00:20:33 this money why am I investing this time you know to have you tell me that exactly
333. 00:20:38 yeah like I know I'm stressed out I don't need you to tell me even though if
334. 00:20:41 that's the right answer so there's gotta be a doctor obvious there's gotta be a
335. 00:20:46 little bit of that too okay so I'll ask you this did you calculate your stress
336. 00:20:53 score I'm not gonna ask you what it is did you calculate it when you there's
337. 00:20:56 five questions they're rated on a scale of 0 to 4 and then you just tally up
338. 00:21:01 your score at the end super easy quiz did you do it I did I did too and we can
339. 00:21:08 move on I'll share I'll share the score that's fine I don't even remember my
340. 00:21:11 score it was just high it was like way high I was like oh man that that's a way
341. 00:21:15 high okay yeah mine was mine was 16 okay I can't remember mine yeah mine was up
342. 00:21:24 there like it was up in that too so now but she gives these five questions and
343. 00:21:27 she recommends doing it and then redoing it and then redoing it that way
344. 00:21:32 you get a feel for like how it's changing over time like and that's her
345. 00:21:38 that's her goal so yeah so on that topic real quick because this is not a formal
346. 00:21:43 assessment this is a self-diagnosis right and that's you can't you don't make
347. 00:21:49 important decisions based off of a self-diagnosis like that but the way she
348. 00:21:54 uses it I think is pretty brilliant where this is the baseline now implement
349. 00:21:57 these tactics which she explains and they're all very approachable they're
350. 00:22:03 all very easy I would say to implement and come back to it in a couple weeks and
351. 00:22:09 see if that number is changed like that actually is useful yeah what what you're
352. 00:22:13 after with this and this really applies to any sort of metric tracking I feel
353. 00:22:19 like is the trends are more important than the numbers yeah yeah like I completely
354. 00:22:24 agree with you and it's funny because I didn't think about this until right now
355. 00:22:28 this is a lot of the way I teach right like you can come in and I mean I care
356. 00:22:34 about where you are on a base level like coming into my classroom but really
357. 00:22:37 when I care about the delta right like what do you look like when you leave
358. 00:22:40 and if you've grown a lot you know like I mean I I a lot of times don't have a
359. 00:22:45 bunch of control over what you look like when you come into my classroom what's
360. 00:22:47 the same situation right whether the score is right or not doesn't matter
361. 00:22:52 it's the score now and then score three months from now and then the score
362. 00:22:56 their answer and are we showing a trend going down and that's that's really the
363. 00:22:59 goal so yeah that's cool yeah and so it doesn't bother me that this is not a
364. 00:23:04 formal assessment I guess you I'm not even sure how you would formally assess
365. 00:23:10 for this there probably is a a way to do it but really the takeaway I think is
366. 00:23:17 to have your eyes open to the stuff to try some things and to see if it
367. 00:23:20 actually improves when I was at Craft & Commerce I was talking to Jesse J.
368. 00:23:25 Anderson do you know who that is I know of the name I don't I don't know their
369. 00:23:29 work very well though he's basically the ADHD guy so he wrote the book extra
370. 00:23:34 focus small little orange book which is really good and he basically talks
371. 00:23:41 about ADHD in terms of how you should approach productivity different than a
372. 00:23:49 neurotypical person so the thing that got him on my radar was he wrote this
373. 00:23:54 essay because he was going to ship thirty for thirty around the same time I
374. 00:23:57 was slightly before and there's this advice you know eat the frog so do the
375. 00:24:02 most the hardest thing in the at the beginning of the day and I think that's
376. 00:24:06 generally good advice but his thing was eat the ice cream not the frog which
377. 00:24:11 talking about from an ADHD perspective how you need to make a task appealing
378. 00:24:17 otherwise you'll just continue to procrastinate on it's kind of like the
379. 00:24:19 dials are turned up to two eleven long story short I was having dinner with
380. 00:24:23 the Metcraft & Commerce and one of the things that happened in the the lab part
381. 00:24:30 before Craft & Commerce actually started was that Ann Lourley Coonf was
382. 00:24:33 actually a guest in one of the fireside chats and she was talking about some
383. 00:24:38 of the things that she was doing now that the the book was done and she's got
384. 00:24:44 this study funded this is public knowledge I'd have seen her mention this
385. 00:24:47 before so this is you know I'm not breaking any trade secrets here but she's
386. 00:24:52 actually doing ADHD research and she was sharing about how like when she
387. 00:24:58 mentioned that I was like what like you have it all together like how do you
388. 00:25:04 have ADHD and really just open a big conversation about how a lot of people
389. 00:25:08 can be very successful get into like doctoral level programs and then find out
390. 00:25:13 you know actually I deal with ADHD and it's this the spectrum it's not you know
391. 00:25:18 binary you've got it or you don't so I was asking Jesse about it at dinner and
392. 00:25:22 talking about the the different you know signs of ADHD and there was a bunch of
393. 00:25:28 that I just completely wrote off is like I don't have trouble focusing I you
394. 00:25:31 know could zero in on a task and that's the thing I'm gonna do for the next three
395. 00:25:34 hours and it just seemed like I had gotten to the point where I could manage
396. 00:25:40 things and it wasn't that disruptive so I just wrote it off and then he sent me
397. 00:25:46 a link to like this self-diagnosis so the self-assessment basically kind of
398. 00:25:52 like this one a little bit more more formal yeah and I went through it and my
399. 00:25:56 results were basically like you probably have this in a small like it's not super
400. 00:26:03 aggressive that I'm using terrible terms to describe this people who have ADHD
401. 00:26:09 are probably like yelling at their podcast players right now because I'm
402. 00:26:12 doing such a terrible job but again because like I was like oh yeah that's
403. 00:26:16 not me you know and then after a while actually that probably is me at least to
404. 00:26:21 a certain degree so that's where I feel like this could actually be useful not
405. 00:26:27 just because you know what I have gone through burnout and I got to the point
406. 00:26:31 where prototypical description of burnout I just can't get up in the morning and
407. 00:26:36 I dread going to work there are probably a lot more I don't know what the the word
408. 00:26:42 is tame versions of that like mundane versions we get this picture of burnout
409. 00:26:50 as this giant depressive thing and I feel like we should probably all be a
410. 00:26:58 little bit more realistic about whether we have gone through or experiencing
411. 00:27:03 aspects of this and I feel like that's where the long story to say that the
412. 00:27:08 self-assessment not assessment quiz whatever thing that she gives you the
413. 00:27:13 questionnaire actually I think could be pretty helpful yeah yeah I would agree
414. 00:27:17 all right let's roll to chapter two what your brain thinks about stress now in
415. 00:27:23 this one she's gonna introduce a couple different things so this idea of your
416. 00:27:31 amygdala and how it plays into things she's going to then talk about your
417. 00:27:35 hypothalamus your pituitary gland the adrenal gland so like she gets into the
418. 00:27:38 medical side of it interestingly I'm less interested in the medical side of
419. 00:27:44 this right like I was much more interested in the practical side of it but I
420. 00:27:47 don't feel like it distracted me from the book like I don't feel like she went
421. 00:27:50 down well I mean like in a I don't feel like she went down this like crazy you
422. 00:27:55 got to be an MD student you know like kind of a thing in order to to grok the
423. 00:28:00 stuff it was much more of like a let me provide the foundation from you from a
424. 00:28:05 medical science standpoint sure so that so that was good the the thing that hit
425. 00:28:09 me big time here is this delayed stress response this idea you know there's this
426. 00:28:16 dam and you hold it back and you hold it back and then you know your stress is
427. 00:28:20 held inside your entire body it's a learned response it can be
428. 00:28:26 unlearned which I thought was a really really relieving statement that she
429. 00:28:30 makes and then she gets into the resilience rule of two and the resilience
430. 00:28:34 rule of two will exist for the rest of the book and she will use it with
431. 00:28:38 basically every buddy she talks about every example she's the resilience rule
432. 00:28:43 too so basically she says make slow and gradual change two at a time so pick
433. 00:28:51 two things and she's gonna help you figure out what to pick in the next
434. 00:28:55 chapter but she says pick two things and make slow changes because the slower
435. 00:29:01 you make those you'll the longer they'll stay or the better they'll stay and then
436. 00:29:06 once you've established those add another or add two more add two more
437. 00:29:10 add two more so this resilience rule of two is the way she's gonna found all of
438. 00:29:14 basically the rest of the book yeah so I laughed earlier because I love the
439. 00:29:21 brain science stuff okay and it's a reminder of me I guess for me never to
440. 00:29:27 pick a neuroscience book that just dives into that specific thing so no I'll read
441. 00:29:36 it I'm just gonna tell you yeah I wasn't looking for it in this one I was
442. 00:29:40 looking for help like that's fair that's fair I feel like this is necessary
443. 00:29:46 like you have to understand how the brain works in order to understand why
444. 00:29:50 stress is such a problem I did so all that to say though that there was not a
445. 00:29:56 whole lot that was brand new to me with her description of how the brain works
446. 00:30:04 so we're a couple of things that I want to want to call out but a lot of this I
447. 00:30:09 had heard before going back to my days working with the family business and
448. 00:30:14 emotional intelligence I remember my dad teaching me about this concept of
449. 00:30:18 emotional hijacking which I still think is a better term for this than the
450. 00:30:23 standard fight versus flight you know they're they're related they're not
451. 00:30:26 exactly the same but every time I go into something like this because there
452. 00:30:30 been a couple books that we've read that have sort of talked about this I feel
453. 00:30:33 like okay I'm gonna get a crappy version of what I already know yeah yeah that
454. 00:30:37 wasn't the case with this one so that is a good thing the short version you
455. 00:30:44 know the prefrontal cortex that's the part that the the logical part the
456. 00:30:48 analytical part so you can respond appropriately I like the way she
457. 00:30:52 described that as the adulting part of the brain that's perfect she talks about
458. 00:30:57 the HPA access the hypothalamus the pituitary gland and then the adrenal
459. 00:31:01 gland those are the main highways for stress in your body I had never heard it
460. 00:31:04 described that way I think that's that's cool too she talks about neuroplasticity
461. 00:31:09 the ability to rewire your brain I think that's the thing that fascinates me
462. 00:31:13 about this the most but then she talks about the stress starting in the the
463. 00:31:19 hippocampus and I guess just for a summary the the the way that the the
464. 00:31:24 brain works you you go through like you get this signal it goes through the
465. 00:31:33 prefrontal cortex it's analyzed for meaning and then you respond appropriately
466. 00:31:37 but the amygdala is the emotional center part of it goes straight there and then
467. 00:31:41 that jumps in basically if it feels like it's a life-threatening scenario
468. 00:31:46 fight versus flight emotional hijacking that gets triggered so you can have this
469. 00:31:50 emotional response that gets that gets released before you really can figure
470. 00:31:57 out what's going on which is why you get upset when someone says something in a
471. 00:32:03 meeting you know you're it's the same part of your brain that kept you alive
472. 00:32:07 when the saber to tiger was trying to eat you even though rationally you know
473. 00:32:12 there are no saber to tigers in this conference room the same response gets
474. 00:32:17 gets fired makes no sense but it still happens right so the delayed stress
475. 00:32:22 response though is the the thing that is intriguing to me where your body
476. 00:32:28 eventually has like a catch-up with this acute stress and there were lots of
477. 00:32:33 stories that she mentioned in here I didn't actually write down any of the
478. 00:32:36 the stories because they they really aren't relevant to the content in the
479. 00:32:42 book they just support the ideas that she's sharing but there was a story of
480. 00:32:45 somebody and I remember what chapter it was from where they basically found out
481. 00:32:50 they had a cancer diagnosis and they're like I'm gonna beat this thing and they
482. 00:32:54 head down like did what they had to do beat it and then after they got the all
483. 00:33:01 clear basically then they broke down and they're like what is wrong with me why
484. 00:33:08 am I doing this now and you know you you can tough it out for a for a while but
485. 00:33:15 eventually your body has to have a release for that sort of thing I've
486. 00:33:18 experienced that where it's like why am I so emotional right now yeah it's like
487. 00:33:23 oh well you just went through something not just went through but it could be
488. 00:33:27 three months ago it could be six months ago it could be years ago that stuff
489. 00:33:32 has a day of reckoning you're not gonna just escape it you can't just like
490. 00:33:38 push through it there I got through it like no you're gonna pay the piper at
491. 00:33:42 some point yeah a lesser version of that right is I don't know if you ever had
492. 00:33:46 the the super stressful periods of time they'll be like a week or two or three
493. 00:33:50 or whatever and then as soon as that's over you like let down and like you get
494. 00:33:54 sick right like you get the flu or whatever it is it's like I was hanging I
495. 00:33:58 was holding it together I was holding it together but I was right on the edge
496. 00:34:00 right on the edge and then as soon as I let down it's like okay my body was like
497. 00:34:05 okay now we got to recover and here comes the sickness kind of a thing yeah
498. 00:34:09 okay let's go to chapter 3 so we've we've made it through the introduction we've
499. 00:34:15 made some background on stress and then your body's reaction to stress or how it
500. 00:34:22 like kind of process stress now we actually get into the first reset so
501. 00:34:25 this is get clear on what matters most and the key word here is most so I'm
502. 00:34:31 gonna jump to the the definition of most and then we'll work our way back but
503. 00:34:35 basically she says to think about the end game and the end game is gonna reveal
504. 00:34:39 what she's gonna call your most goal now most is an acronym it stands for
505. 00:34:44 motivating objective small and timely so she says in in the technique that she
506. 00:34:52 describes here write out your list of goals choose one from the list that is
507. 00:34:56 both motivating and within reach then objective changes can regularly allow you
508. 00:35:00 to regularly monitor your progress so make sure it's objective make sure it's
509. 00:35:03 small enough that you can actually do something about it and then make sure
510. 00:35:06 it's timely and I would say like she's thinking in the next couple months right
511. 00:35:10 she actually says three months here but it's in the next couple months where
512. 00:35:14 you're gonna go so she tries to help you identify the thing that actually matters
513. 00:35:19 and that would be what she calls your most goal so Mike I'm gonna get my first
514. 00:35:23 action item here my first action item is gonna come by trying to identify what
515. 00:35:28 my most goal is right like I want to figure what out what that is I know that
516. 00:35:35 we've talked about this in like Charlie Munger in Buffet's books and stuff like
517. 00:35:38 that to where you know you write down the 25 things and then you shrink it down to
518. 00:35:42 five and then you pick one of the five right or whatever but I'm gonna try to
519. 00:35:46 really hone in on this idea of this most goal so that's my first action I'm
520. 00:35:51 coming out of this and I'll let you take it where you want to go to with chapter
521. 00:35:55 three nice I'm curious how many action items you will actually end up with me
522. 00:36:00 too so there's lots of tactics in this book and she does number them in
523. 00:36:07 sequential order as she gets to them throughout the book I don't think I
524. 00:36:12 wrote down any of them in that format I did jot down you know the things that
525. 00:36:18 that stood out to me and to be honest a lot of those action items those tactics
526. 00:36:22 were versions of things that I had heard other places most familiar with for a
527. 00:36:26 long time but the end result is that I don't feel like there was anything in
528. 00:36:31 here that was completely groundbreaking new I do like the most goal approach my
529. 00:36:40 initial thought of when I heard that was you know this is way better than
530. 00:36:43 smart goals yeah me too I felt the same I thought the same thing I think you
531. 00:36:48 know you talk about the fact that nothing was new I would agree with you I
532. 00:36:50 don't think any of the 15 are new or novel or like that but it was cool to
533. 00:36:55 have them applied to stress like have them yes directly applied in the context
534. 00:36:59 because I haven't heard that very often and that was valuable to me yeah and
535. 00:37:03 there are I think a couple of places in here where I wish there were visuals so
536. 00:37:08 she's got on the cover these five resets these five arrows that are in this
537. 00:37:13 circular shape right around the person standing in the the center when she's
538. 00:37:19 talking about the comfort zone and then the fear zone learning zone and growth
539. 00:37:25 zone I was completely expecting some sort of circular visual to accompany
540. 00:37:32 this and it wasn't there yeah I don't know why it wasn't there it's right there
541. 00:37:37 I could draw it for you yep maybe she feels it's not necessary but I feel
542. 00:37:45 like missed opportunity for some of these things to really hit these these
543. 00:37:50 points home where you're never gonna forget this so yeah that being said the
544. 00:37:57 things that stand out to me from this chapter are the fear zone learning zone
545. 00:38:03 gross and I really like that description I wish there was a visual go along with
546. 00:38:07 that because I feel like that's something that is really impactful and
547. 00:38:11 it's easy to gloss over that when you got a 240 page book and there's there's no
548. 00:38:14 picture associated with the words but the other thing there is the two kinds of
549. 00:38:17 happiness the hedonic happiness which is happiness centered around pleasure and
550. 00:38:21 consumption which is what most people will default to and then the eudomonic
551. 00:38:26 happiness which is happiness centered on meaning and purpose I I think you know
552. 00:38:33 you probably already can tell based on conversations that we've had that I
553. 00:38:39 skew more towards that one but I didn't have a term for it you know I do the
554. 00:38:44 life theme and the everything that I do gets filtered through that and I talk
555. 00:38:49 about values-based productivity and all this kind of stuff being intentional and
556. 00:38:53 the eudomonic happiness that really is a good term for what I'm really after
557. 00:39:02 yeah and I think the conversation to be had around this is that hedonic
558. 00:39:09 happiness isn't something that you should try to completely eliminate
559. 00:39:16 necessarily I think it's fine to a certain degree I think where it's
560. 00:39:24 dangerous is when you're constantly chasing that and you're buying new
561. 00:39:31 stuff because it makes you feel good and then a couple hours later you are
562. 00:39:37 down a couple hundred bucks and you're in the same situation you were prior so
563. 00:39:44 if you're trying to move the needle I feel like the eudomonic happiness is
564. 00:39:48 really just something that you have to pay attention to not that you have to
565. 00:39:53 completely optimize for that you don't have to go full mic schmitz on this yeah
566. 00:39:59 yeah but you should at least think about it because your happiness is
567. 00:40:02 multifaceted yeah I mean she talks about there that you get on that treadmill
568. 00:40:07 right that hedonic treadmill where you know you want more you want more you want
569. 00:40:12 more right well okay I get the little hit I get the little hit I get the little
570. 00:40:16 hit but there's no like stable like there's no stability there will the
571. 00:40:20 eudomonic happiness is that stability there but it's like trying to figure out
572. 00:40:26 what is going to drive that right like what will drive that well that's where
573. 00:40:31 she takes you back to the endgame search takes back to that most goal so it's
574. 00:40:36 like I I just think this is laid out in such a clear logical way that it's like
575. 00:40:41 it just resonates like it just hits well it makes total sense now I think
576. 00:40:48 actually acting on it and like breaking down so like you make the
577. 00:40:54 assumption that you know if you're 30 years old well since you were an adult
578. 00:40:58 or whatever time like you've been only caring about hedonic happiness or at
579. 00:41:03 least let's say 90% caring about it on a cabinet it's gonna take you a little
580. 00:41:07 while to break that down right to where you stop only thinking about that and
581. 00:41:11 you start thinking about the bigger the higher purpose and it's like I just I
582. 00:41:16 just think it it goes really well like it just fits really really well so let's
583. 00:41:22 talk about the other two techniques in this chapter because the those are
584. 00:41:25 important so technique two is make a backwards plan right so backwards plan
585. 00:41:29 she outlines it I won't go through the steps of it but basically you know you
586. 00:41:32 you start at the end and then you you plan your way plan your way back so
587. 00:41:37 again not brand new not not I guess unique to her but applied in in the
588. 00:41:42 stress context and then technique three is find she says find your buried
589. 00:41:50 treasure right like so basically what you're what you're trying to figure
590. 00:41:54 out is you know for these activities from your past childhood or just from
591. 00:42:00 your past that really brought you joy right like really brought you this
592. 00:42:04 eudium on a happiness and then try to to live more like those this is probably
593. 00:42:11 the technique that I am the least like confident on like if I think about you
594. 00:42:19 know like what my past like most joyful thing in the world would be it's like
595. 00:42:25 I don't know if that would be the same thing I would say right now like there's
596. 00:42:28 a lot that's changed in my life from the past until now so it's like I would
597. 00:42:32 really want to think hard about that one that's the one I'm probably the least
598. 00:42:34 confident on yeah I think I agree I mean that's step one in the life theme
599. 00:42:39 process is identifier moments of impact but then you got to ask why were they so
600. 00:42:43 impactful yeah and I think it's very possible that something impacted you
601. 00:42:48 previously because you identified a certain way you had specific outcomes
602. 00:42:54 you're trying to achieve you were optimizing for a specific thing and then
603. 00:42:57 your season of life changed and that's not the most important thing to you
604. 00:43:00 anymore yeah okay so are you ready to go to chapter 4 yep alright so chapter 4
605. 00:43:06 is the second reset so you see where we're gonna go now we're gonna do the next
606. 00:43:09 five chapters as the resets so the second reset find quiet in a noisy world and
607. 00:43:13 man I mean this chapter just hit hard basically it's the anti-smart phone
608. 00:43:21 anti-computer screen anti-digital thing in front of your face all day long
609. 00:43:27 chapter you know I mean and she drives home with all of the evidence that says
610. 00:43:32 hey it may not be like directly stressing you out but it's look it's
611. 00:43:37 increasing your level of background stress background noise mental it's
612. 00:43:43 reducing your mental bandwidth she gives good examples here she introduces a
613. 00:43:48 concept that I'd never heard of called popcorn brain but I understood it when
614. 00:43:52 she describes it it's like you're just kind of popping around like thinking
615. 00:43:55 about different things the crazy thing with this one is while I noticed it in
616. 00:43:59 me man oh man do I see this in my students like oh my gosh I see this in my
617. 00:44:04 students like so much if I asked them when they walk into the classroom to put
618. 00:44:09 their phone in like a container on the shelf or whatever there would be you
619. 00:44:16 know a decent percentage of the students who would look at me like I had four
620. 00:44:19 heads and they'd be like wait you want me to not have my phone near me for an
621. 00:44:24 hour and 15 minutes and like they would go crazy and I'm just as bad right like
622. 00:44:29 I actually tried to think about like how many times do I pick up my phone with
623. 00:44:33 really nothing to do but it's just kind of like a safety mechanism it's like oh
624. 00:44:38 I'm just gonna look at my phone I'm just gonna look at my phone so I think I
625. 00:44:42 have an action item out of here but I'm not going to lock it down right now I
626. 00:44:47 want I want to hear what you have to say about this chapter first well first of
627. 00:44:50 all with the popcorn brain I can't remember did we read the anxious
628. 00:44:55 generation or was that just something that I did for focused you you did it but
629. 00:45:00 we didn't read it for this for this podcast okay so the anxious generation
630. 00:45:04 speaks to this and by Jonathan Hate and H-I-H-A-I-D-T and I know that that David
631. 00:45:15 was a big fan of this book and he's the one who told me about it he has a
632. 00:45:19 daughter who teaches I think high school and she had the same revelation that
633. 00:45:27 this is really a problem one of the things that they started doing is having
634. 00:45:31 these cell phone lockers at their school that kids would put their their phones
635. 00:45:35 in and I don't think that works maybe quite as well in a university setting
636. 00:45:41 yeah but I think that this is gonna gain a lot of steam in in high schools and I
637. 00:45:50 think that's a good thing so I'm encouraged that there's stuff that's
638. 00:45:56 being that there's there's momentum around some of this stuff especially with
639. 00:46:04 people who are most susceptible to it but yeah it's definitely definitely a
640. 00:46:11 thing now what do you actually do to overcome that I feel like what's the the
641. 00:46:17 term Pandora's box has been been opened you know with the smartphone so it is
642. 00:46:22 what it is it's not gonna go away I don't think you have to just completely
643. 00:46:28 put on the tin foil hat grab your Motorola razor and move to the the woods
644. 00:46:33 but really figure out really just be intentional with how you're gonna use it
645. 00:46:38 I think it's the unintentional stuff that really adds up mention that in this
646. 00:46:44 book the statistic we physically touch our phones about 2,617 times per day
647. 00:46:49 that's not picking it up 2,617 times that's each time that you scroll or
648. 00:46:56 something like that but that is a lot yes and mentions that where your
649. 00:47:01 attention goes your energy and mental bandwidth follow yeah again like nothing
650. 00:47:06 revolutionary or brand new to me from this chapter other than a couple
651. 00:47:13 different descriptions for this this phenomenon but again that like that's
652. 00:47:16 that's good enough for me because I feel like it's a few other a few more
653. 00:47:21 puzzle pieces that I can use to create a more complete picture over over this
654. 00:47:26 kind of thing I do have an action item from this chapter as well although I
655. 00:47:30 think the argument could be made that I am well aware of these dangers and have
656. 00:47:36 taken action in many different ways both for myself and for our family with
657. 00:47:43 the topics that she's she's talking about here but this is a very necessary
658. 00:47:47 chapter for people who are like yeah it's not the big a deal she has a great
659. 00:47:51 job of of explaining why this is such a big deal so the action item for me from
660. 00:47:56 this is to craft a media diet and really the thing that got me thinking about
661. 00:48:01 this as an action item for me was the way that she defined the media diet with a
662. 00:48:05 couple different criteria maybe she talks about time limits talks about
663. 00:48:11 geographical limits and then logistical limits and I've done a little bit of
664. 00:48:18 this like the geographical limits for example no smartphones in the the
665. 00:48:23 bedroom we have a thing where we keep our our phones and everybody charges all
666. 00:48:29 their devices there at at night it's a like big 12 port charger or something
667. 00:48:34 that we keep things in at night but other than that you know I really
668. 00:48:40 haven't done a whole lot in terms of when and where am I going to be when I
669. 00:48:44 use my phone and I feel like I could get away with that well I could benefit from
670. 00:48:50 that I guess I work from home so it would be very easy for me to just say you
671. 00:48:57 know my phone is not going to come into my office and if I'm not going to have
672. 00:49:02 social media on my computer it's only going to be on my phone or something that's
673. 00:49:06 a terrible example because I actually want to flip that I want social media
674. 00:49:09 not to be on the phone I wanted to just be on the computer but I want to
675. 00:49:13 eliminate basically the the mindless scrolling where I just pick up the phone
676. 00:49:17 by default because even though I've made some progress here I'm still
677. 00:49:20 susceptible to this and there will be times when it's like what did I just do
678. 00:49:25 for the last hour I wasn't paying attention and nothing when I've got this
679. 00:49:32 project I've got this script I've got it right you know all these these
680. 00:49:34 different things that I should have been should have been doing and just yeah
681. 00:49:39 putting a little some more boundaries in place but there were there was some
682. 00:49:43 crazy statistics and things in here like sleep to five people showing a 60%
683. 00:49:48 higher reactivity in the amygdala the so essentially if you don't sleep very
684. 00:49:52 well then you're gonna find yourself in that fight versus fight more often which
685. 00:49:56 is kind of like dub but then also 50% of people check their phone in the
686. 00:50:00 middle of the night mm-hmm well what are you doing like you're setting yourself up
687. 00:50:04 to fail if you're you're doing that that sort of stuff she talks about how we
688. 00:50:07 have this primal urge to scroll and I never really thought about it that way
689. 00:50:11 but she's right you know it's it's not we have a primal urge to rub our finger
690. 00:50:16 across a slab of glass that's connected to the Internet yeah but the people who
691. 00:50:20 have developed those apps and those technologies are tapping into a an
692. 00:50:25 instinct that is there I I I think it's the primal urge to be entertained right or
693. 00:50:32 to be like in excited or angered or whatever it might be like they're
694. 00:50:36 dopamine yeah which which I think it's crazy I'm glad you brought it up I think
695. 00:50:41 it's crazy the word dopamine to my my memory was not mentioned in this book at
696. 00:50:46 all like I could not I could not I was like how do we get through this whole
697. 00:50:50 book without talking about dopamine but I get it wasn't it wasn't the point of
698. 00:50:53 the book I think the the two statements that come out of this chapter for me was
699. 00:50:59 screens are the chief enabler of bedtime procrastination I was like yep
700. 00:51:03 whether it's your phone or watching TV or whatever it might be I was like that is
701. 00:51:07 100% true and then there the other one that you triggered when you were when
702. 00:51:16 you were talking about it is mine is I use my cell phone for an alarm hmm so
703. 00:51:21 it'll go off in the morning and I will then look at it and it's like I'm
704. 00:51:26 doing nothing it's like mine I'm not like productive I'm not doing anything I'm
705. 00:51:31 just like very very very very and it's like what am I doing like that is no way
706. 00:51:35 to start your day like you're gonna start your day with a bunch of nonsense
707. 00:51:38 so I'm gonna get an action item out of this chapter and I figured out what it
708. 00:51:42 was I want to revisit my cell phone use like and the only goal here is can I
709. 00:51:47 make it less so I just spent a week at the beach and left my phone in the room
710. 00:51:53 for like most of the time right nothing broke everything was okay like there
711. 00:52:00 were no fires that you know I needed to put out or you know like nothing bad
712. 00:52:05 happened like like everything was okay and I need to carry that into like normal
713. 00:52:10 life so I'm gonna revisit my cell phone use as a as a way nice make progress
714. 00:52:16 there I think that's the big takeaway for everybody is to consider your your
715. 00:52:20 cell phone use because there's a is a pairing of things that she said there
716. 00:52:24 that hit me at the end of this chapter where using your phone more is correlated
717. 00:52:29 to spending more time alone but then the quality of your relationships is the
718. 00:52:33 single greatest predictor of happiness yep yep so if you are addicted to your
719. 00:52:39 phone you may not intentionally make the choice I'm not gonna go hang out with
720. 00:52:43 my friends but you won't go hang out with your friends you'll just continue to
721. 00:52:48 scroll or watch videos or whatever and then those relationships won't get built
722. 00:52:53 and then in the long run that's gonna have a significant impact on your overall
723. 00:52:56 happiness yeah okay let's go to let's go to chapter 5 chapter 5 is the third
724. 00:53:02 reset sink your brain and your body so this chapter is all about the mind body
725. 00:53:08 connection I like that she calls it out at the very beginning of the chapter she's
726. 00:53:12 like it's not a woo-woo concept like it's okay like this actually real and we're
727. 00:53:16 getting more and more evidence about it she refers back to that HPA axis and
728. 00:53:21 about how that plays into it you know there's a big section of this that's
729. 00:53:25 about your gut and how your gut feeling or your gut reaction or whatever like
730. 00:53:30 that actually is probably more accurate than then we all realized breath was the
731. 00:53:37 focus of a lot of the or multiple the techniques in this chapter she gave
732. 00:53:42 the different approaches to breathing the one side note or tangent I'll take
733. 00:53:46 right now the 478 breathing mic which is basically you breathe through your
734. 00:53:53 nose for a count of 4 hold your breath for a count of 7 and then you exhale
735. 00:53:58 slowly for a count of 8 this mic is incredibly effective like I don't know
736. 00:54:04 if you've ever done it but it's like crazy effective and the first I had heard
737. 00:54:08 about it was I think it was because it's how they taught like Navy seals to go to
738. 00:54:13 sleep and like any environment is like no matter how stressful it was if they
739. 00:54:17 breathe this way they were much more likely to go to sleep and chaos and so I
740. 00:54:21 was like okay I'll give it a shot it's incredibly incredibly effective I can I'll
741. 00:54:26 do it like three or four times and the next thing I know like I'm either way
742. 00:54:29 more relaxed or asleep so I thought out I thought that was pretty cool yeah I'm
743. 00:54:36 a big fan of that technique I used it last night yeah yeah I don't remember
744. 00:54:42 where we heard about this first but it's not the first place that we've come
745. 00:54:46 across it I agree it's bothering me that I can't remember where we first heard
746. 00:54:51 about it from I don't know if it was Michael Easter's book with the dopamine
747. 00:54:56 stuff or but I know we've read it before I just can't remember I can't remember
748. 00:55:00 where we got it either yeah the additional detail that she provides that was
749. 00:55:05 always a question in the back of my mind was how many times do you do this
750. 00:55:10 because in my like I don't know about you but I remember hearing about how to
751. 00:55:16 do this and then I started doing it and then after like one or two times I yawn
752. 00:55:21 you know I'm getting tired and then should I keep going is that good enough
753. 00:55:25 the sort of where I landed on was I'll do it three or four times and then just
754. 00:55:29 don't worry about it but in the back of my mind I'm always thinking am I doing
755. 00:55:33 it wrong and she says you know you do it three three times and that's then you
756. 00:55:38 then you just don't worry about it anymore it's like oh okay thank you for
757. 00:55:42 finally giving me the details that I need to not worry about whether I am
758. 00:55:47 messing it up that's funny because I haven't thought about that once I just
759. 00:55:51 usually do it a couple times and go okay I'm good like I also use the stop
760. 00:56:00 breathe B I've used that multiple times since reading this book where it's like
761. 00:56:04 more by in particular my one son is like stressing me out like I'll have
762. 00:56:09 ex-stopquery breathe just be in this moment it's gonna be okay and then it's
763. 00:56:14 what we we've read it in another book I can't remember which one it was but it
764. 00:56:18 was basically like just give it 30 seconds more than likely in 30 seconds
765. 00:56:22 it's gonna resolve and you're and you're gonna be okay so so yeah a lot of
766. 00:56:27 breath stuff in the first part of this chapter anything else on the breath
767. 00:56:32 before I move the second part of the chapter I don't think so yeah I think
768. 00:56:41 I'm I think I'm good there is some stuff in the other parts of this chapter that
769. 00:56:44 I liked like the friction having three parts being time distance and an effort
770. 00:56:49 I like that I don't have a specific action I'm associated with that but yeah
771. 00:56:53 so she's gonna give more more takeaways and like more techniques here so take a
772. 00:56:56 20-minute walk she's big on like 20 minute walks or like a small amount of
773. 00:57:02 time you know to to debrief your with yourself or reflect or whatever it might
774. 00:57:08 be she talks about the three phases to building a habit the initiation to start
775. 00:57:14 the learning and then the stability phase so initiation learning and
776. 00:57:19 stability she talks about the fact that we can get into this whole field of
777. 00:57:25 nutritional psychiatry which I had never heard of before in my life but she
778. 00:57:30 says it's a growing field big on the Mediterranean diet gives a lot of you
779. 00:57:35 know evidence about why the Mediterranean diet is at least she thinks
780. 00:57:38 it's the it's the most beneficial way to eat for stress and and health that kind
781. 00:57:45 of gives the big high-level overview of of chapter five and how the the brain
782. 00:57:51 and the body connect yeah the only other thing I'll add to that is she
783. 00:57:55 mentions that stress shrinks the size of your brain but exercise can actually
784. 00:58:00 enlarge it so I kind of knew this already and have been taking action on it but
785. 00:58:07 was an additional data point as to why I feel that it's so important for me to
786. 00:58:13 exercise every day it's not because I want to get huge or I want to get fast
787. 00:58:19 because I need it in order to think straight it helps me self regulate I'm
788. 00:58:27 in the exact same position right it's like if I I notice a much higher level of
789. 00:58:31 stress if I don't do something it doesn't have to be crazy but like I need to do
790. 00:58:36 something physical every day and if I don't do that and I'll tell you the same
791. 00:58:39 thing the same thing with the boys right like if I don't get the boys out of the
792. 00:58:42 house running around you know they're way more crazy than if I do and it's not
793. 00:58:47 just like tiredness it's not just fatigue it's like there's a pent up
794. 00:58:52 aggression energy I don't know I don't know what word I want to use to describe
795. 00:58:55 it so yeah a lot of good stuff in chapter in chapter 5 around how those two things
796. 00:59:01 connect yeah all right so let's go to chapter 6 this is the fourth reset this
797. 00:59:07 one is called come up for air so basically you're looking at giving your
798. 00:59:14 brain a break without sacrificing productivity so she starts to touch into
799. 00:59:21 the productivity I thought Mike I thought you'd get a kick out of this she
800. 00:59:25 mentions hustle culture like quite a few times in the book and I I think it's
801. 00:59:29 mentioned here but it's mentioned elsewhere as well she talks about the
802. 00:59:33 the Goldilocks principle there's there's a couple different techniques in here
803. 00:59:39 Goldilocks principle for the just right amount of stress the next technique would
804. 00:59:43 be the magic of mono tasking which we've talked about in other places before
805. 00:59:47 we've read about in other places then the next technique she would be she would
806. 00:59:51 talk about it's called fake your commute so she gets into you know the fact that
807. 00:59:56 there's hybrid work now or remote work and therefore you actually need that
808. 01:00:01 period of time I can tell you as somebody who drives to work you know
809. 01:00:04 during the semester every day I need the 15 or 20 minutes between my office and
810. 01:00:09 home or my home and office the amount of productivity that gets done in that
811. 01:00:14 time just from in like a clear in my brain and prepping for the day it's it's
812. 01:00:19 unbelievable and I know like you have a similar situation where you go to the
813. 01:00:22 co-working space it gets into rituals in this chapter overall like I mean I
814. 01:00:31 know it sounded like a broken record at this point but there's just a lot of
815. 01:00:34 really valuable stuff that you can get out of this chapter I started I don't
816. 01:00:41 know it was two semesters ago three semesters ago where instead of like
817. 01:00:45 scrolling the news or social media or whatever it might be during my breaks
818. 01:00:50 I'll go out and just walk in the sunshine and I started doing it actually
819. 01:00:53 more for the sunshine than I did for anything but man does it like really
820. 01:00:57 kind of level you out and and establish just like a calming presence in the day
821. 01:01:02 I try to not listen to a podcast but that's really really hard because I love
822. 01:01:06 to listen to podcasts so I try to not do anything but just take in nature and
823. 01:01:11 sometimes I'm better at that than others so overall I think I think is
824. 01:01:15 another really good chapter yeah the the stress bell-shaped curve that she
825. 01:01:22 she mentioned there the the Goldilocks like the right amount of stress we need
826. 01:01:26 stress in order to to change and grow but that bell-shaped curve I was a
827. 01:01:32 business major so statistics I'm familiar with that bell-shaped curve
828. 01:01:36 she mentions that you're probably on the right side of that curve and you have
829. 01:01:39 too much stress so that was a really powerful visual for me the way to find
830. 01:01:43 the sweet spot is to slow down and to do less and that sounds like a gross over
831. 01:01:49 generalization but I think it actually is probably true I was a little bit
832. 01:01:54 surprised by the statistic that 82% of US workers today multitask every day I
833. 01:01:59 kind of thought we had made more progress than that it seems like people
834. 01:02:03 have been talking about that forever but it does make sense I do take issue a
835. 01:02:07 little bit with how she defines time blocking because she's really defining
836. 01:02:11 the Pomodoro method they're related but not not exactly yeah I don't think I
837. 01:02:18 don't think she's a cow Newport aficionado no that's okay I do think that
838. 01:02:22 the advice that she gives there is actually really good and the description
839. 01:02:26 she has of the her own journey where the Pomodoro method is really the 25
840. 01:02:30 minutes of work and if I'm in a break how she's adapted that to about 50
841. 01:02:34 minutes like a double Pomodoro that seems a lot of people who use the Pomodoro
842. 01:02:37 method that's kind of where they end up so that makes a lot of sense the hybrid
843. 01:02:42 work thing that was the part that stood out to me the most she talks about how
844. 01:02:46 hybrid work and I think remote work kind of fits into this category as well so
845. 01:02:51 this is improving autonomy and productivity like just that statement in
846. 01:02:58 and of itself I feel like would have been a little bit controversial even a few
847. 01:03:02 years ago like well how are people gonna be more productive when they're not
848. 01:03:05 working every moment of every day and I can't watch them but the way she says
849. 01:03:09 it's like yeah we've kind of come to the conclusion that the research research
850. 01:03:13 shows that if you just leave people alone they're actually more productive
851. 01:03:16 like that's encouraging but then there's a dark side to that too so hybrid work
852. 01:03:20 improves autonomy and productivity but also stress and burnout and that yeah I
853. 01:03:27 gotta figure out what I'm gonna do with that the fake commute thing that you
854. 01:03:31 describe that actually is one of my action items fake commute question mark
855. 01:03:35 I need to figure out what I'm actually gonna do with this but I like the idea
856. 01:03:38 of a fake commute and the descriptions and the examples that she had in the
857. 01:03:43 book of somebody like going somewhere to get coffee come back to their house
858. 01:03:49 yeah I'm not gonna do that sort of thing but that that did trigger to me what
859. 01:03:53 would it actually look like if I you know get up in the morning and do my
860. 01:03:57 morning routine I'm gonna go now to work and start writing don't just plot my
861. 01:04:03 butt down in the chair and start banging on the keyboard but what's the 15 minute
862. 01:04:07 commute ritual that I could create that would actually help me to enter into
863. 01:04:10 that that mode a little bit easier I'm sure that there are some things that that
864. 01:04:16 I could could do there and I have no idea necessarily what what they are now
865. 01:04:22 I've lots of ideas like examples if I was coaching somebody I'd say you know
866. 01:04:27 when you went to the office you got dressed so maybe you need to put on the
867. 01:04:33 button-down shirt and and slacks because it just tells your brain you're going
868. 01:04:37 into a professional mode but that's not exactly true for me with writing and I
869. 01:04:45 don't know what it's I don't know what it's gonna be I got to figure out some
870. 01:04:49 sort of ritual though that and I like the definition she has the rituals which I
871. 01:04:53 really just think you repeatedly and in a certain order you know what's what's
872. 01:04:57 my commute ritual gonna gonna look like yeah I think one of the values of this
873. 01:05:04 book or one of the things that I think is most encouraging about this book is
874. 01:05:08 none of the techniques she describes are hard like they're all super simple that
875. 01:05:16 like if you think about you know the the resilience rule of two and you pick
876. 01:05:21 some of these techniques like anybody can do these with just the explanation
877. 01:05:25 that she's given so I think she she nails it on those like I think she does a
878. 01:05:29 really good job I think there are more complicated ones that you might
879. 01:05:34 progress to but I think everybody can get started on on these with relatively
880. 01:05:39 little guidance because I just think they're so simple like the Palma Dora
881. 01:05:42 technique I mean that's been around for I don't even know how long and it's like
882. 01:05:47 it's crazy effective if you if you implement it and you start doing it
883. 01:05:50 especially if you're like a crazy multitasker and you just do 25 minutes
884. 01:05:55 of a single task and then five-minute break and then I just think it's really
885. 01:05:59 really valuable I got another action item like from this chapter nice but
886. 01:06:04 it's not probably as straightforward it comes from the time blocking thing I
887. 01:06:10 want to reintroduce planning my week so I used to plan my week like Sundays I
888. 01:06:15 would plan out the week and figure out like what are my most important things
889. 01:06:17 I want to get done but really what refined in me reading this book and
890. 01:06:23 working through this chapter was really I don't want to play in the whole week
891. 01:06:26 because that's not realistic for me right now in the summer it's not
892. 01:06:30 realistic for me to plan every hour of every day and and try to map that out I
893. 01:06:33 just want to plan the evenings on Monday evening I'm gonna do this thing on
894. 01:06:38 Tuesday evening I'm gonna try to do this thing because like my mornings are set
895. 01:06:42 like I it's basically when I read for bookworm right so I read in the mornings
896. 01:06:45 while I'm drinking my coffee and you know kind of before the kids wake up but
897. 01:06:49 like my evenings are all over the place so I want to figure out what are the
898. 01:06:53 evenings what do the evenings look like and can I plan those well essentially
899. 01:06:57 not really time block but can I time block the evenings that's really all I
900. 01:07:01 care about right now so that's my my next action item cool you're getting
901. 01:07:06 your money's worth I am getting my money's worth out of this book okay so now
902. 01:07:11 we're at the fifth reset so we're doing well we're around on the bend towards
903. 01:07:14 home so the fifth reset is bring your best self forward okay so this one hits
904. 01:07:20 about your inner critic she really stresses the kind of being your own
905. 01:07:25 critic that we talk to ourselves in an unkind way that there's this idea of
906. 01:07:32 cognitive reframing which allows us to focus on growth instead of focusing on
907. 01:07:37 the the negative thing we get the technique 14 here which is basically a
908. 01:07:42 gratitude practice so I figured you would get a kick out of that and you
909. 01:07:46 would find that comforting and then the one that I thought was even more
910. 01:07:52 interesting than that would be like this express yourself this expressive
911. 01:07:57 writing so I'm actually gonna gonna read this one it's a fairly long quote
912. 01:08:02 because I think it's really cool so this is from pennebakers the individual who
913. 01:08:07 developed expressive writing he said I'd like you to write about your very
914. 01:08:10 deepest thoughts and feelings about an extremely important emotional issue that
915. 01:08:13 has affected you in your life in your writing I'd like you to really let go
916. 01:08:17 and explore your very deepest emotions and thoughts you might tie your topic to
917. 01:08:21 your relationship with others including parents lovers friends relatives to your
918. 01:08:25 past your present or your future or to who you have been who you would like to
919. 01:08:30 be and who you are now you may write about the same general issue or or
920. 01:08:34 experiences on all days of writing or on different topics each day all of your
921. 01:08:38 writing will be completely confidential don't worry about spelling
922. 01:08:40 blah blah blah right the only rules to begin is once you begin writing continue
923. 01:08:44 to do so until your time is up and then she kind of doubles down on this as she
924. 01:08:49 as she's going and she's basically like even if you just rip it up like do the
925. 01:08:52 writing and then do whatever you want to do with it you don't have to keep it
926. 01:08:55 anywhere you can destroy it you can burn it you can do whatever you want to do
927. 01:08:58 with it I think this would be incredibly valuable for me to do
928. 01:09:04 incredibly valuable for me to do and Mike I'm not gonna lie to you I'm a
929. 01:09:08 little bit scared to do it like I like I don't think I want to do that I'm not
930. 01:09:12 gonna make this one action item because I don't want to I don't want to put
931. 01:09:15 myself you know my back to the wall and say I have to do this because this one
932. 01:09:19 scares me which means you probably should do it I know I know I should do it I
933. 01:09:23 know I should do it yeah so I I like the exercise I actually don't want to do
934. 01:09:32 that but I did really like the live a lifetime in a day concept so I think
935. 01:09:40 this is sort of related but not exactly the same where essentially each day
936. 01:09:44 you're trying to tap into six different modes childhood which is where you play
937. 01:09:49 work self-explanatory vacation which is where you unplug community you're
938. 01:09:54 building relationships solitude you're getting away from everything and then
939. 01:09:58 retirement where you're thinking about the things that you have achieved or
940. 01:10:02 or accomplished I don't have a formal process for that I realized that she
941. 01:10:08 was describing that how the personal retreat fits into the regular rhythm for
942. 01:10:15 me and with that retirement aspect I don't know that I would actually want to
943. 01:10:23 try and check all six of those boxes every day but I definitely understand the
944. 01:10:28 the value of thinking about things in those those different ways because I do
945. 01:10:32 tend to just get zeroed in on something and stay in that that single mode and I
946. 01:10:40 lose the ability to think about things from different perspectives and then
947. 01:10:45 get frustrated when I don't get the results that I want yeah I could very
948. 01:10:52 I'm glad you brought up the personal treat because I think this would you know
949. 01:10:55 those six areas would be really cool to do in a personal retreat and then look
950. 01:10:59 at those how they change over the course of a year's worth of personal retreats
951. 01:11:03 or just the different things you've collected over the years of a personal
952. 01:11:07 retreats I think that would be really cool how often do you do your personal
953. 01:11:10 retreats every quarter yeah every quarter yeah it's what I thought okay see the
954. 01:11:13 thing is I don't know that these six necessarily are worth thinking about
955. 01:11:17 on a personal retreat maybe the like the retirement piece where you're thinking
956. 01:11:23 about like the long-term long-term vision you want to have I feel like that's
957. 01:11:28 the part that lends itself to the personal retreat process but the other
958. 01:11:31 ones I feel like those could easily be worked into the wheel of life exercise
959. 01:11:35 yeah okay so that's how I would do this and I wouldn't just take those and map
960. 01:11:39 those directly but the whole idea behind the wheel of life is essentially what
961. 01:11:43 are the important areas of your your life you want to keep tabs on and then
962. 01:11:47 you're reading your current happiness in those different areas if you see one
963. 01:11:52 that's super low you focus on that when you try to bolster it a little bit so
964. 01:11:56 it's sort of the same not approach but like the outcome you want it to be the
965. 01:12:04 same with the what she's describing here because essentially if you'd never take
966. 01:12:09 time to play or you never have any solitude you want to recognize that and
967. 01:12:14 try to create more of that but yeah all right let's go to last chapter this
968. 01:12:20 chapter it's called the fast track now one of the things that she's done
969. 01:12:26 really really well I think is she's very compassionate or she's very
970. 01:12:29 encouraging there we go that's the word she encourages through compassion she
971. 01:12:33 encourages by basically saying like hey don't worry about where you've been or
972. 01:12:37 like what it's the fact that it's taken you this long like just start making
973. 01:12:42 change right like start using this rule of two and start making change and she
974. 01:12:47 talks in here she she ties into called the stages of change model or the
975. 01:12:51 transtheoretical model of change where you've got pre-contemplation then you've
976. 01:12:56 got contemplation and I don't remember the other ones action I think I think
977. 01:13:03 I've got these so pre-contemplation contemplation preparation action and
978. 01:13:08 then maintenance yeah which I thought those were really good like I thought
979. 01:13:12 that was a really good way to think about you know your model of change and it
980. 01:13:14 came out of smokers in the in the late 70s so I thought that was really really
981. 01:13:19 good she describes it as a you know a messy process and really this is the
982. 01:13:26 the chapter that we've seen in a lot of books especially the ones we've been
983. 01:13:30 reading lately where it's that like go get them you know like okay I just gave
984. 01:13:34 you these ideas these principles go get them like go go use these tools to make
985. 01:13:40 your life better to de-stress and then she drives home this idea of like taking
986. 01:13:45 that personalized stress score over and over and over again and then asking
987. 01:13:49 yourself a bunch of questions as you work on this you know this progress
988. 01:13:53 journey so I don't have a ton out of this chapter no action items are coming
989. 01:13:57 out of this one other than maybe like man I just was reminded that like I
990. 01:14:02 like this book and I thought it was good and I thought the stuff that in it that
991. 01:14:06 was in it was really really valuable yeah it's a an effective conclusion
992. 01:14:13 essentially and the things that stand out to me from this are to trust the
993. 01:14:20 process she mentions that some days are going to be easier than others and that
994. 01:14:24 the real thing here after here is progress not perfection which again I
995. 01:14:28 know but good reminder especially with something like the mindfulness
996. 01:14:33 meditation she didn't really speak directly to that super strongly I thought
997. 01:14:38 she did talk about breathing and she does mention that she has her own
998. 01:14:42 meditation practice but it didn't read to me or maybe I just skipped over that
999. 01:14:45 part because I've heard a bunch before there wasn't a big encouragement that I
1000. 01:14:50 recall like hey you really need to meditate yeah yeah alright Mike so that
1001. 01:14:57 that wraps it up let's talk about your action items do you want to are you
1002. 01:15:00 willing to go first or do you want me to yeah I can go first I've got two so the
1003. 01:15:05 first one was to craft a media diet and specifically I want to think about
1004. 01:15:12 when I am going to be using my phone and create boundaries in terms of the time
1005. 01:15:18 that I'm going to be using it the geographical places I'm going to be
1006. 01:15:21 using it and then logistically like how am I going to be using it for what
1007. 01:15:24 purpose and I feel like just identifying those will probably have a net win for
1008. 01:15:31 me and then the other one is the fake commute idea I love that and I think she
1009. 01:15:37 actually talks about the bookends with the fake commute and I realized that I've
1010. 01:15:42 been struggling with the shutdown routine for a long time but viewing it as part
1011. 01:15:47 of the the commute home might actually get it to stick yeah especially since I
1012. 01:15:53 have motivation around creating the commute at the beginning of the day I
1013. 01:15:58 feel like there's there's two aspects to that the morning and then the the
1014. 01:16:05 afternoon and I want to figure out what those actually look like nice very cool
1015. 01:16:10 so I had three coming to this book I want to think about my most goal right to
1016. 01:16:14 determine what that most goal is right now I want to revisit my cell phone use
1017. 01:16:18 and then figure out how I can make it less right so always drive into words
1018. 01:16:22 making that less and then I want to reintroduce planning my week but
1019. 01:16:27 particularly on a plan the evening so really all I'm worried about is planning
1020. 01:16:30 the evening so those are my three coming out of this if I like look at my notes
1021. 01:16:35 again I would probably get like six more but I'm trying to be realistic so all
1022. 01:16:41 right all right so let's go style and rating this is my book Mike you will not
1023. 01:16:45 be surprised at all this is a five-star book like this this book is I am so
1024. 01:16:50 happy that we pushed it up on the timeline I like this book I needed this
1025. 01:16:56 book I will need this book for a while right like so in terms of I'm going to
1026. 01:17:03 revisit a lot of this stuff you know in the coming months and thinking about
1027. 01:17:07 kind of stress and burnout and just kind of you know being proactive about you
1028. 01:17:12 know not I guess not letting it get one any worse and then not reaching a point
1029. 01:17:16 where you know it's it's becoming too much if that if that makes sense so I
1030. 01:17:22 really really like this book I like the structure of this book I thought it was
1031. 01:17:25 a clean read I thought she you know did a nice job with the examples and tying
1032. 01:17:30 in I didn't think there was a lot of fluff I didn't think there was you know
1033. 01:17:34 confusing structure you brought it up in the in the thing so I don't want to
1034. 01:17:38 steal your thunder but it's a really good point there were there were some
1035. 01:17:41 examples where she could have like made images or figures but really like that's
1036. 01:17:45 me nitpicking I'm not like I was very happy with this book and and I think
1037. 01:17:51 everybody should pick it up and read it whether you're dealing with stress and
1038. 01:17:54 burnout right now or not I think this is a this is a must-read for everybody
1039. 01:17:58 all right well you're right I think that there are some missing visuals here I
1040. 01:18:07 don't necessarily think that that means it's not a five-star book although I'm
1041. 01:18:13 not gonna read it five stars I'm gonna read it four stars okay my overall
1042. 01:18:18 impression of the book which I enjoyed very much was that that watch you let me
1043. 01:18:24 before I say that do you know does she have other books that she's written I don't
1044. 01:18:29 I don't know of any no so I can look at that real quick though okay I would be
1045. 01:18:34 curious because like the the lack of the visuals and also the way that she
1046. 01:18:43 describes a lot of the the tactics feels to me like this is a good book that she
1047. 01:18:52 wrote on her own personal experience but also not that it was rushed or not
1048. 01:18:59 complete but there are there's a lot of low-hanging fruit for things that would
1049. 01:19:04 make it more polished and kind of like the signature work if this was gonna be
1050. 01:19:09 the book she was gonna write my guess is that she's a very smart doctor with a
1051. 01:19:14 lot of experience in these things and this is one of many books that she either
1052. 01:19:18 has written or will have written and I didn't look at all only book this is the
1053. 01:19:22 only book she's written okay I'm kind of confused why not put in the little bit
1054. 01:19:28 of the extra effort then with with that sort of stuff like the other thing that
1055. 01:19:34 could be really like really easy to do at the end of every chapter these are the
1056. 01:19:38 three tactics right with the so many books we've written read where they have
1057. 01:19:42 like the the little gray box and key takeaway is it's right there you know but
1058. 01:19:49 it's not in in this book and I kind of can't figure out why yeah hold on I'm
1059. 01:19:57 looking I'm looking at who the publisher was Harper one which I mean
1060. 01:20:00 that's a that's a popular you know well-known publisher so yeah it's a good
1061. 01:20:06 book and I think the tactics are great and I think there's a lot of stuff for if
1062. 01:20:11 you come to this book as I'm feeling burnt out you haven't read a whole
1063. 01:20:17 bunch of the books that we talk about on bookworm this is like a great first
1064. 01:20:22 book in this this topic and even if you read a lot of the the books and are
1065. 01:20:26 familiar with a lot of the concepts that she talks about in this book at a more
1066. 01:20:30 detailed level like you and I are I think there's still a lot of value to be had
1067. 01:20:35 in this so I think I would recommend this to anybody who's interested in the
1068. 01:20:38 topic of stress and burnout at all whether you are dealing with it or
1069. 01:20:42 whether you just want to know more about it so you can be more prepared if I'd
1070. 01:20:45 ever were to show up you should read this book I I just I kind of struggle
1071. 01:20:52 with it doesn't feel like a life-changing book to me okay and I feel like it could
1072. 01:21:00 have been like if she leans into it a little bit harder then then it hits
1073. 01:21:08 different because she's got the credibility she's got the great
1074. 01:21:12 perspective she's got great stories I mentioned that at the beginning these
1075. 01:21:16 stories with this this book in particular were different than just about every
1076. 01:21:22 other book that we've we've read and as I was thinking through like why why is
1077. 01:21:25 that what do I like best about this you really found the balance between having
1078. 01:21:30 personality with the people that she's describing which I think is important
1079. 01:21:33 when you're talking about average people because what she's trying to do is with
1080. 01:21:39 this book you know she's basing it off of her experience working with patients
1081. 01:21:43 and so it's not like you're a patient but kind of yeah yeah yeah so that's really
1082. 01:21:49 effective in helping you to put yourself in the shoes of the other people that
1083. 01:21:53 she's she's walked through this stuff the stuff with I don't know maybe it's
1084. 01:21:59 just me struggling with acceptance of this is something I really need to figure
1085. 01:22:05 out that that is a that could very well be the be the case here but yeah I I
1086. 01:22:11 think it's a like I said I think it's a really good book and I think I would
1087. 01:22:14 recommend it to just about anybody I just think that there's there's
1088. 01:22:20 definitely more depth to be had here with some of this stuff okay and I don't
1089. 01:22:26 even know like that I want to go deeper with some of these things
1090. 01:22:30 necessarily but like one example is like the the brain stuff you know I'm sure
1091. 01:22:35 there are books that have been written on going deeper into how the how the
1092. 01:22:38 brain actually works and I like the packaging of the five resets I feel
1093. 01:22:43 like that makes it really approachable for for people because I feel like in a
1094. 01:22:49 lot of ways I'm sort of the the ideal customer for this one where she's got a
1095. 01:22:56 whole reset about the importance of the mind body connection and breath but she's
1096. 01:23:01 not going hard on like you really need to meditate yeah yeah I agree you know so
1097. 01:23:08 yeah it's a really really good book if I was giving point five's it would be a
1098. 01:23:12 4.5 but I'm not so I'm gonna I'm gonna let you keep talking because I think
1099. 01:23:16 you're gonna get to a five so keep going that's it you know it's I'll
1100. 01:23:23 continue to keep talking if you want me to but it's not gonna not gonna get to a
1101. 01:23:26 five it's it's really good I want to just just reiterate that like it is a very
1102. 01:23:31 very good book but I I'm kind of thinking like who is the person that this is a
1103. 01:23:37 must read for you're raising your hand yeah why why do you think that is what
1104. 01:23:43 what is season season of life just like where I'm at like I just think this is a
1105. 01:23:48 like when I when I read about this book and I read the introduction or like the
1106. 01:23:52 description of it I was like yes I need to read this right now right yet so I
1107. 01:23:56 agree like at that point you've got it maybe you do identify as that person who
1108. 01:24:00 has to read this but after you read that I feel like if you're gonna do
1109. 01:24:04 something with this it would maybe it's just my personality it's like okay now I
1110. 01:24:09 got to dig deeper into something this is a transitionary book for me it's not the
1111. 01:24:13 be-all-end-all book for me it's gonna open a door it's like okay this is
1112. 01:24:17 something that you may want to try and if you have success with this here's an
1113. 01:24:21 additional resource if you really want to go down that rabbit hole but I'm I'm
1114. 01:24:25 totally that person who would jump down the rabbit hole yeah see and I don't I'm
1115. 01:24:29 not compelled by that like I'm like I read this and I go okay I want to try
1116. 01:24:33 these things and then I'll go from there right but that's just maybe our
1117. 01:24:37 differences in personality cool yeah alrighty so we are on to our next book
1118. 01:24:45 we're gonna put the five resets on the shelf Mike you have the next book what
1119. 01:24:50 are we reading next next we are reading Lean Learning by Pat Flynn which I saw
1120. 01:24:57 I'm at Craft and Commerce this is his latest book and I think this is gonna be
1121. 01:25:02 a gonna be a fun one I'm interested to hear what you think of this because the
1122. 01:25:08 the subtitle I don't have it in front of me but it's something like learn more I
1123. 01:25:12 learn more study less something like that like basically it's it's lean
1124. 01:25:17 learning just like lean project management doing the right things not
1125. 01:25:20 necessarily more things I think it's gonna be a little bit of a different
1126. 01:25:24 approach than some of the other learning books that we've read nice very good
1127. 01:25:27 I'm excited for this one all right what's after that so after that I didn't tell
1128. 01:25:33 Mike this he did not but he will not be surprised by this I want to read a
1129. 01:25:38 listener recommendation and I want to read AI snake oil because why not very
1130. 01:25:45 like it would be fun to why not fun to be read more about AI so this is a
1131. 01:25:49 lecture recommendation from Mark so we're gonna read AI snake oil and it's by
1132. 01:25:55 some folks at Princeton who are talking about what artificial intelligence can
1133. 01:26:01 actually do what it can't and those type of things so I'm excited to to read
1134. 01:26:06 that one and learn more about AI all right sounds good all right Mike do you
1135. 01:26:12 have any gat books between now and our next recording well I don't have a
1136. 01:26:18 gat book between now and the next recording necessarily but I did finish
1137. 01:26:22 an additional book and that is useful not true by Derek Sivers so it's a tiny
1138. 01:26:29 little book takes like an hour to crank through and it's a bunch of short essays
1139. 01:26:35 basically if you go to a Derek Sivers website you'll get a feel for what these
1140. 01:26:39 these books sound like because it's just you know 30 maybe 40 of these one page
1141. 01:26:47 essays there's a bunch in the useful not true that are not on the website but
1142. 01:26:52 there are quite a few that are on the website that are actually in the book
1143. 01:26:56 he's he's a different different guy we interviewed him for the focus podcast
1144. 01:27:02 actually not too long ago and it was a great conversation turns out he's a huge
1145. 01:27:07 journaling nerd so nice I'll put a link to that episode in the show notes as well
1146. 01:27:14 as the link to buy this book which is not going to be the standard links that
1147. 01:27:18 we have in the show notes which I use GeniusLink for most of those where it
1148. 01:27:22 gives you a choice whether you want to buy it from Amazon bookshop.org which
1149. 01:27:25 is kind of like Amazon except all of the sales go to independent bookstores
1150. 01:27:29 or Apple books for the digital version all of Derek's books are self-published
1151. 01:27:35 and they are on his website nice so yeah a little bit different but it's it's a
1152. 01:27:40 good one that's awesome he also has listed himself as a circus performer
1153. 01:27:44 he's a musician circus performer entrepreneur and speaker so I am afraid
1154. 01:27:50 to click on the circus performer link so we're just gonna move right on I don't
1155. 01:27:54 have any gap books because we are finishing floors in the house and between
1156. 01:27:59 that and normal reading and then some projects I have going on from work there
1157. 01:28:03 is no way I'm reading a gap book right now so I'm not even gonna try I'm living
1158. 01:28:06 an act like I'm reading a gap book right now so no the answer is no all right so
1159. 01:28:12 if you're reading along with us pick up lean learning by Pat Flynn if you want
1160. 01:28:16 to support the show directly we'd love to have you do that go to patreon.com/bookwormfm
1161. 01:28:20 for seven dollars a month you get access to a few perks you get access to the
1162. 01:28:25 pro show so that has an additional segment every single time and no ads when
1163. 01:28:31 we do have them so today we talked about my obsidian experiments test management
1164. 01:28:36 CSS lots of plugins so if that sounds interesting to you then you can get the
1165. 01:28:41 the pro show by signing up to support the the patreon you also get the bootleg
1166. 01:28:46 episodes which get published right after we record typically about a week two
1167. 01:28:49 weeks early and also a bookworm wallpaper it's a great way to support the
1168. 01:28:54 show and help us keep the lights on you find out when we go live to record so
1169. 01:28:58 you can join the live recordings as well and all those details are at patreon.com/bookwormfm